Hurricane Humor

I've lived in Southwest Florida since I was born. I have been through every hurricane here since 1983. I remember Hurricane Andrew like it was yesterday. I was in the third grade and we missed the first few days of school which, at that age, we loved. Of course, my brother, sister and I were too young to really understand the magnitude of such a huge storm. I'm like a walking reference guide on what you should do to prepare for a hurricane. Thankfully, Hurricane Ike has decided to leave us alone, although we've been getting the outer bands all day. I'm sure we'll get some tomorrow as well. Either way, with all this "hurricane talk", I decided the mood needed to be lightened a little bit. So, I present to you, some hurricane humor. Enjoy!!

Top 10 Reasons Hurricane Season Is Like Christmas:

10. Decorating the house (boarding up windows)

9. Dragging out boxes that haven't been used since last season (camping gear, flashlights)

8. Last minute shopping in crowded stores

7. Regular TV shows pre-empted for "specials"

6. Family coming to stay with you

5. Family and friends from out-of-state calling

4. Buying food you don't normally buy ... and in large quantities

3. Days off from work

2. Candles

And... the number one reason Hurricane Season is like Christmas ...

1. At some point you know you're going to have a tree in your house!

You know you’re from Florida when….

1. You have FEMA’s number on your speed dialer.
2. You have more than 300 ‘C’ and ‘D’ batteries in your kitchen drawer.
3. Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti O’s.
4. You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows.
5. When describing your gutted house to a prospective buyer, you say it has three bedrooms, two baths and an open air feel to it.
6. Your SSN isn’t a secret, it’s written in Sharpie on your arms.
7. You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.
8. You are delighted to pay $3 for a gallon of regular unleaded.
9. The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake Zone.
10. You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the pool.
11. You own more than three large coolers.
12. You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the least bit guilty about it.
13. You rationalize helping a friend board up by thinking It’ll only take a gallon of gas to get there and back
14. You have 2-liter coke bottles and milk jugs filled with water in your freezer.*
15. Three months ago you couldn’t hang a shower curtain; today you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight.
16. You catch a 13-pound red fish - in your house.
17. You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner’s insurance policy.
18. You consider a vacation to stunning Tupelo, Mississippi.
19. At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest chainsaw.
20. You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.
21. There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.
22. You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at the Weather Channel.
23. Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.
24. Ice is a valid topic of conversation.
25. Your drive-thru meal consists of MRE’s and bottled water.
26. Relocating to South Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.
27. You spend more time on your roof then in your living room.
28. You’ve been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder or a tree worker.
29. A battery powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.
30. You don’t worry about relatives wanting to visit during the summer.
31. Your child’s first words are hunker down and you didn’t go to Ole Miss!
32. Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean it’s Christmas.
33. Toilet Paper is elevated to coin of the realm at the shelters.
34. You know the difference between thegood side of a storm and the bad side.
35. Your kids start school in August and finish in July.
36. You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning.*
37. Your garage smells like gasoline.
38. Your more concerned about someone stealing your generator then your car.
39. You get excited when you see a FPL truck in your neighborhood.
40. You get really excited when you see the cable guy.
41. You can create memorable meals with a can of SPAM and one gas burner.
42. You are prepared to wait in line at Starbucks for 2 hours to get a cup of coffee. 43. You flinch when you are introduced to a person named Charley, Frances, Ivan or Jeanne.